Philip Seymour Hoffman

I'm not writing this post to talk about how sad it is Philip Seymour Hoffman died of an apparent drug overdose. Yes, it is tragic Hoffman died in this manner while the world discusses his demise over coffee and macaroons. (Do people still eat macaroons?) Instead, I want to focus on the conversations I've had/heard concerning the actor's death.

For those not affected by addiction, the discussions about death by overdose are often the same. It goes a little something like this:

Person A: "Did you hear about Philip Seymour Hoffman?"

Person B: "Yeah. Crazy huh?"

Person A: "Yeah, but I don't feel sorry for him. He was shooting up heroin. What does anyone expect?"

I heard similar dialogue from two people the morning after Hoffman's body was discovered. One of these people knows I'm married to a meth addict. What I don't understand about people is their lack of empathy. Do people really feel addicts want to be addicts? That they intentionally destroy their lives by snorting, shooting, smoking, drinking their drug of choice?

On the surface, I'm sure this seems like the logical explanation for the people who feel addicts choose to be addicts. Yet, it isn't logical. Hell, it isn't even remotely rational. We can examine Hoffman's life to explain illogical nature of the drug-addicts-are-idiots-who-deserve-to-die theory:

Hoffman was an inspiring actor with the ability to make us love the lost, confused often dark characters he played onscreen. He reached a level of success rarely seen by many character actors. We loved seeing him turn these complicated characters into simple beings. We empathized with his onscreen personae. We rooted for him no matter what side he was on. Essentially, his professional life was excelling and didn't seem to stop.

Personally, Hoffman was the father of three children. Three little ones who loved their dad I'm sure. It's reported he often walked his babes to school and was very involved in their lives. He had a partner, Mimi O'Donnell, by his side for 15 years. He had it all. The American fucking dream.

Did Hoffman wake up one day and say, "You know what? I think today's the day to go start using heroin." I highly doubt that anyone does. Instead, he found himself chasing a high after a short addiction to pain medication and battling bouts of depression. He recovered from that, but all it took was one misstep to turn his life into what it became; a dead celebrity on a bathroom floor with a needle in his arm.

To those who feel he made the choice to die, I won't accept that. Neither should you. What addiction really boils down to is mental illness. No one chooses to be mentally ill. Addiction kills that mental illness if only for a short while. It masks the pain and chaos that surrounds you in life. Some of us are born ill equipped to go about life living through the heartache, frustrations and pain. Other times, our circumstances in childhood lead us down a path of self-destruction. It's hard to live life when you hate yourself. You know life is worth living, but your brain just won't let you remember that.

Hoffman and other celebrities who died as he did prove to us you can have everything and nothing at the same time. When your soul feels dead, it's hard to live. Let's use this event to educate those who say Hoffman and others like him deserve to die because really, no one deserves to suffer this way.